Opening Up About Depression
I have clinical depression. Surprised? Lots of people that know me are. Actually, just a few days ago, a friend whom I’ve known for YEARS expressed her surprise. “What? You? Depressed?”
Yep. That’s right – the eternal cheerleader is clinically depressed. I’m just a good cheerleader for other people.
What is Clinical Depression
Clinical depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Individuals with clinical depression are unable to function as they used to. Often they have lost interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel sad and hopeless for extended periods of time. (source: http://www.uhs.berkeley.edu/lookforthesigns/clinicaldepression.shtml)
Ironically, I worked in pharmaceutical marketing and advertising for 10+ years. Many of the products I worked on were for depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia. I know indications, side-effects and the generic names (oh so fun to try to pronounce) to practically all SSRIs, MAOIs and tricyclic prescription medications. So you would think I knew the signs, right?
Did you know: (source: http://www.indepression.com/depression-statistics.html)
- Depression weakens the immune system and so one becomes susceptible to physical disorders.
- In a year nearly 13 million and 14 million people experience a depressive disorder.
- Only 20 percent who develop depression receive adequate treatment.
My Story
When my son was born 12 weeks premature, I felt detached. Right away I knew I had a problem because I am a very emotional, caring person. (I’m known to be a sympathy crier). But I didn’t feel ANYTHING. I went to my doctor right away.
My doctor, a family practitioner, told me it was more than post-partum depression. It was also slight PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Believe me, the story of little man’s birth is traumatic. I’m surprised I didn’t flip-out!
So I started taking Lexapro and was on various dosages of this for the past 2 1/2 years. I was doing good. But then this past March, a personal issue brought me down again. Way down.
Literally for the past 5 months I felt detached, sad, hopeless and guilty. I became forgetful and unmotivated. I’ve gained weight because of my ‘binging’ and lack of exercise. I had frequent headaches and insomnia.
So I finally went back to my doctor about my depression. First, he was mad/frustrated with me for letting this go for so long. (He’s been my family’s doctor for YEARS so I was comfortable with his reprimands). We decided to switch meds instead of adding a new one to take along with my Lexapro. I’ve now been taking Cymbalta for 3 weeks.
Plus he gave me instructions to follow for some natural therapies. 1000mg Omega3 daily; regular exercise; 20 minutes of sunlight each day. He also mentioned acupuncture – but not going there yet.
Honestly, after just 3 weeks I’m feeling more like myself. I’ve even lost a few pounds! I don’t know if it’s the meds or the sun or the exercise – or a combo of everything. Who cares?
So What’s Your Point Cara?
Clinical depression is not a sign of personal weakness, or a condition that can be willed away. Clinically depressed people cannot “pull themselves together” and get better. In fact, clinical depression often interferes with a person’s ability or wish to get help.
My biggest motivation for seeking help: my family. My husband works his ass off so I can be home with our son. And my son is the happiest kid in the world. Neither of them deserve to have me miserable all the time.
If you think you are depressed, get help! A case of the blues doesn’t last longer than a couple weeks. Seriously. If you can’t do it for yourself, then think of your family.
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Its so awesome that you are able to speak openly regarding your depression. I have panic disorder (a type of anxiety disorder) and I spend more time pretending and being the “external cheerleader” than I do accepting it and moving forward. If more people were like you, all of the stigmas that affect us would be gone! You go girl!
Jerseymomma (Amber)’s last blog post..Hello world!
I really admire you for your full disclosure. It takes courage and a dedication to your audience. I know that you’ll help someone out there.
May I ask you a question — when you are/were depressed, did you find yourself yelling at your son? I know that’s something I’ve struggled with. I have my disclosure about that here:
http://www.solutionsforbusymoms.com/blog/2008/5/8/real-life-solutions-to-help-you-stop-yelling-at-your-kids-a.html
Thank you both for the kind words.
Amber, it is my hope that by opening up and being real about it will help others get the help that they need.
It’s also my hope that it further establishes a sense of ‘realness’ with my readers, listeners and coaching clients. I want them all to know that I’ve been there – I feel your pain. And I want to help!
You know Sarah, I was very snippy. I had no patience so I would snap a lot at my son – and hubby too. I’m still dealing with the guilt because of this.
The good thing is that my son is young enough to get over it – and he probably wont remember it either. Any my hubby is so supportive and has told me that just by acknowledging the problem was enough for him to forgive.
Cara,
Thanks again for sharing. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Sarah Z.
Cara,
I’ve just run across your blog in the last week and have enjoyed all the resources. Thanks especially for this post. I agree with the other commenters – your honesty is refreshing and encouraging. I know so many young Moms who are really struggling with post-partum and other emotional issues and the biggest problem (in my opinion) is that they don’t even know that’s the problem, or that they need help. We all have this idea that we have to be superMom every day, all day. Not true, and a dangerous assumption. Whether it’s clinical depression, post-partum, or just a slump, we all have those low times and we need to start being more honest about them. Thanks for leading the charge.
Annie
Oh Cara, I had no idea! I know we don’t know each other all that well even though we have a lot of mutual friends. But after reading that, I feel like I know you a LOT more. I’ve been there, done that. Even as recently as this week. (I posted it on my “Mom blog”.)
Its hard to be as open as you’re being about it. I struggle with my disclosure because I’m afraid it will ‘turn off’ potential clients and that I’ll lose business if they find out I’m “crazy”. Same thing with losing friends. I worry that people won’t like me if they find out I have a mental illness.
So thanks for being so open about your own issues with depression. You had me in tears.
This is me giving you a big ol’ virtual hug ——> ((( ^–^ )))
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Cara thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s always “nice” to know that I’m not alone. And thank you pointing out it’s not a sign of weakness or a condition that can be willed away. So many people have told me to just snap out of it. Umm I wish it were that easy! Hello if it was I wouldn’t be suffering from clinical depression.
Again thank you so much for sharing this! And hugs to you
Hi, Just stopping by on the blog trip.
I do know about depression, although I admit mine is milder than yours. I’m currently on Prozac, but surprisingly the physical aches haven’t improved as much as I’d hoped. I’ve also been told I’m experiencing perimenopause, so I’m sure that is a big part of it. Sometimes getting older really does suck. Hope you can find time to visit my blog.
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Anxiety and depression is one hell of a nasty disease. even if you have everything but if you have clinical depression, you are still nothing.;*.
antidepressants works well with anxiety attacks, only problem is there are side-effects..-~
anxiety and depression are hard to treat if the patient has not been checked for years.’**