Tips on Avoiding the Comparison Trap

Have you ever heard of a term called “healthy competition”? Competition can be a driving force when used properly. For instance, when two or more WAHMs get together and see who can sell the most product in a month or who can make the most customer follow-up calls in an hour can be fun. Having that competition going can give you something to work for and you may end up accomplishing more than you would have otherwise.

However, things can turn unhealthy when you start comparing yourself to your WAHM friends.  If you have you ever found yourself thinking “Gee, Sally is so successful. I wish I was more like Sally.  My life would be perfect if I could be like Sally.” You are comparing yourself to others. It may seem like human instinct – but do not fall into the trap!

You need to be proud of who you are and what you are doing. You do not have Sally’s life – she may have older children and eight hours a day to work on her business whereas you have a newborn and a toddler and only a few hours a day to work. It is important to set your goals realistically. Remember the old saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” It applies to your business as well! And who knows if Sally is really as successful as she is? Maybe she is saying she is more successful than she actually is. Sally may actually be comparing herself to you!

It is normal to wonder if your business is doing well, or if you are making as much as you could be. Seek out advice from someone who has been where you are now. They can offer an honest opinion and can tell you what they did to achieve their success. Remember to use their advice as a guideline. You need to set your own deadline. It doesn’t matter if it takes you a bit longer to achieve your goals. Building a successful business is not a race – it is a marathon! By working consistently on your business, you will achieve your goals.

Is Your Self-Esteem Letting You Down?

How can negative self-esteem spill over into your life and affect everything you say and do?  Read this one particular account, and ask yourself if it has a familiar ring.

“They used to say I was born with a fork in my mouth. I was always told to eat everything on my plate. Growing up in an Italian family, while our meals primarily consisted of pasta and bread; I wouldn’t consider myself to be someone who ate constantly. The overriding factor contributing to my weight was sweets.  In addition, I inherited my father’s genes; which unfortunately consisted of a large frame, and a tendency to gain weight more easily.  Conversely, my mother’s side of the family was thin. To add insult to injury, my sister was fortunate enough to inherit my mom’s genes.”

My early childhood years were painful, to say the least. Attending elementary school posed many problems. Since uniforms were mandatory, I was unable to find a store that would accommodate my size.  I was laughed at; made fun of; and as a result, became extremely shy and introverted.  I would always sit in the last row in class; did not have many friends; and realized soon enough I was not like everyone else.  While my parents were always telling me how beautiful I was, I didn’t believe it.  Eventually, I withdrew; going through the motions of living a normal life; but not. As teenager, it was even more difficult to form friendships.  To compensate, I read books; listened to music and thought that if I were intelligent enough, I would be included.  It didn’t happen.  If I attended a high school function, I usually went alone, but was never asked to dance.  I became used to being ignored. I developed a low self-esteem which took over my life for the next thirty years.”

Low self-esteem can be devastating, especially for children.  If not dealt with, it can spill over into adulthood as described in the story.  It can invade every part of your life; forming friendships; engaging in relationships; taking care of family and home, and decrease the desire to live a full and happy life.

To improve your self-esteem, it is necessary to find the underlying cause.  Professional help may be warranted.  Speaking to someone who can be totally objective can have a profound affect on the path you will eventually take to free yourself from this internal bondage. It takes courage and determination to face your own fears and to seek help. You can be assured; however, once you do there will be no need to ever look back.

It’s time to get out of your own way, and find the truth within. Self-esteem issues can be resolved.  All it takes is one step toward the direction of the light; leave the darkness forever behind you.